


The Trouble with Definitions

by Noteventhat (Facialteeth)



Series: Heronhill [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Affectionate Jace Herondale, Bisexual Jace Herondale, Cuddling & Snuggling, Developing Relationship, Experienced Andrew Underhill, Fluff, Gay Andrew Underhill, Hooking up, Inexperienced Jace Herondale, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nervous Jace Herondale, andrew's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27860214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Facialteeth/pseuds/Noteventhat
Summary: Jace and Andrew had been hooking up for a while but Andrew knew that it was nothing more than an experiment for Jace. Except, when Jace starts to invite Andrew into his bed every night, Andrew decides he should finally ask exactly what Jace would like this thing between them to be, even if that might mean ruining whatever they had in the process.
Relationships: Andrew Underhill/Jace Herondale
Series: Heronhill [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2039585
Comments: 10
Kudos: 17





	The Trouble with Definitions

For a while, Andrew’s thing with Jace was just that- it was a thing and nothing more. Jace was curious. He wanted to experiment with men. Andrew was there and available and if Andrew was being honest with himself, he was pretty sure Jace didn’t have the confidence to pursue anything with anyone else, even if he had wanted to explore more avenues than just Andrew.

Which didn’t exactly make Andrew feel special. Andrew had flings before. He’d had hookups. He’d dated a few people without feeling much for them. So, he tried to stay realistic. Jace wasn’t looking for a relationship. He wasn’t looking for them to fall in love. He wasn’t even looking for them to be open about whatever relationship they did have: which Andrew understood. He’d been in the closet until recently too and he knew how shadowhunters reacted to stuff like that, even if their Head of the Institute was now openly with a man.

Things were changing for the good. Andrew truly believed that but they didn’t change that quick. No, Andrew wasn’t upset that Jace didn’t want to tell anyone about them. There wasn’t even anything to tell but he did have to keep reminding himself that.

He wasn’t a sucker. He wasn’t in love with Jace. He wasn’t even ‘catching feelings’ as his mundane ex-boyfriend liked to say but every once in a while, Jace would do something and Andrew would have to remind himself that this most likely was not going anywhere. He would have to remind himself that he was there as someone for Jace to experiment with. He was there to have fun for however long it was fun for them both but he wasn’t there for anything more, even if Jace’s lack of experience and overall adorableness made Andrew feel otherwise sometimes.

He had to remind himself that when Jace brought him coffee in the morning after they spent the night together, he was doing so because he was sweet and he was excited about what they were doing together. Andrew also had to remind himself that Jace would be doing so to whatever man had made himself available and had ended up in his bed. When Jace was eager to spend every night they could together, Andrew had to remind himself that this was new to Jace and that’s why he was so excited.

It was a little harder to keep that in mind sometimes. Like tonight, when Jace had insisted Andrew come to his room after his shift and so they could watch a mundane movie Andrew had told him about. He hadn’t really expected Jace to insist they actually watch it together but he wasn’t going to say no either.

He just had to remind himself that Jace was excited. He was excited Andrew was available and there and even if he sat on the bed jittering eagerly while Andrew set up Netflix, that didn’t mean this was going anywhere. Even if they laid in Jace’s bed and ended up pressing their shoulders together, half cuddling while they watched the entire movie without either of them trying to make a move- that didn’t mean this meant something.

Even if they laid in bed for the rest of the day together, watching other movies Andrew wasn’t surprised Jace had never heard of. Even if Andrew was shocked and pleased that they spent so much time together with no ulterior motive, it didn’t mean Jace thought of him as anything more than someone to invite here to do this. If Jace had the confidence to ask anyone he wanted to spend time with him and do so without feeling like he’d be rejected or ostracized, Andrew was sure he would have.

His siblings were busy. Jace didn’t have anyone else right now and even as pleased as Andrew was that day, he had to try to remind himself that he was not special to Jace Herondale. He was just there.

He tried to remind himself of that even as it became a weekly thing, alongside their usual hookup. He tried to remind himself of that even when they started spending most nights together and then finally, when Andrew realized he hadn’t spent a single night in his own bed for the angel knows how long- Well, then he started to let himself wonder.

When Jace started sitting with him every morning, gravitating towards him whenever they were in the same room together, offering to go on every mission with him and inviting him into his bed every night; Andrew had to ask himself if maybe Jace really did like him.

Andrew finally brought it up one late night, after he’d gotten back from a mission that had gone on too long. He’d told Jace he’d be back by ten and when he walked in the door a little past twelve and looked down at his phone for the first time in hours, he was surprised to see just how many messages waiting for him, all from Jace.

The first was asking if he’d like to come to his room after he got back. The next was just past ten, complaining that Andrew wasn’t back yet. Then, he sent a photo of himself sprawled in bed, lamenting about how lonely he was. The last was about a half an hour ago, where Jace had sheepishly written, ‘ _Sorry. I sound needy, don’t I_?’

Every ounce of Andrew’s body was tired but instead of going to his own room to pass out, he dropped his weapons and turned to head towards Jace’s. He needed a shower but it also seemed like Jace needed a little reassurance. Jace also had his own bathroom with a shower that was far better than the one Andrew would find in his hallway. That only had a little to do with it.

Andrew knocked softly on Jace’s door before he cracked it open and walked inside without warning. It was midnight. Jace had a hard time sleeping but still, Andrew wouldn’t want to wake him up if he had managed to find peace tonight but when he did walk in, Jace was sitting in bed, wide awake.

When he saw Andrew standing there still in his ichor covered armor, he looked a little guilty. “I thought you’d gotten back already,” he murmured softly. He’d clearly been in bed for a while but it didn’t look like he’d even attempted to sleep. Still, his hair was soft and messy on his head. It was rather cute.

Andrew thought of teasing him for a moment, telling him he’d only come to use his shower but Jace was one to take that to heart and then pretend he hadn’t. “I’d have come seen you earlier, if I had,” he said instead.

Jace stared at him for a long moment, almost scanning his face to see if he could tell if Andrew was lying to him. Finally, he seemed to decide he wasn’t. His eyes darted across Andrew’s dirty body and a more characteristic smile came across his face. “Would you like to clean up or were you planning on making a mess of my bed?”

Andrew smiled in return, falling into their easy banter. “Well, I’d love to make a mess of your bed but maybe I should clean up first.”

Instantly, Jace blushed. Jace insisted that he didn’t blush often. He told Andrew that before he’d met him, he couldn’t even remember a time he’d blushed and yet, there was hardly a day that went by that Andrew didn’t see that color come across Jace’s face. He’d always assumed it was just Jace’s inexperience but now, Andrew wondered if it really could be because of him.

Jace’s eyes darted away and Andrew knew he was trying to hide it. “Okay,” he murmured finally. “I’ll be here then,” he said turning to glance over at Andrew again, looking as if he was trying to appear more composed than he really was.

Andrew smirked. He couldn’t help it. Then, he nodded without a word and moved to walk into Jace’s bathroom. He wanted to ask Jace if he wanted to join him, just to see the look on his face when he asked but Andrew decided against it. He did want to talk to Jace tonight and perhaps the conversation would do better without the context of showering together and then, getting distracted.

They’d just end up hooking up and while that was nice, that was exactly what Andrew wanted to talk to Jace about. He didn’t imagine Jace would be any better at expressing his feelings naked and flustered.

Andrew showered quickly. Normally, he liked to enjoy his showers, especially when he was coming off a mission like he was now but Andrew was eager to get out. He was a little nervous that asking Jace about how he felt was going to ruin whatever they had going on right now but if it was going to be ruined, then that was just how it was going to be. Andrew would rather know than not.

It wasn’t until he stepped out of the shower that he realized he hadn’t thought to grab clothes. So much for not being naked. Andrew dried himself off as much as he could and then, he stepped out of the bathroom into Jace’s room.

Jace looked up and clearly didn’t expect to see Andrew naked. Yet again, Andrew watched as his entire face turned beet red. He was starting to think Jace was going to inflate his ego and give him a complex. He’d have to watch to keep himself in check.

“I didn’t bring clothes,” Andrew said, causing Jace to scramble off the bed towards his dresser.

“Right,” He said without looking back, almost pointedly keeping his eyes forward and away. It was endearing and Andrew was tempted to step forward, drop the towel and tease him like he might normally but he couldn’t. They were going to talk. He couldn’t do that with Jace’s lips on his neck.

Jace turned and handed over a pair of his sweatpants. Andrew wanted to point out that Jace had failed to provide him a shirt but he just took the clothes without a word and then turned to walk back into the bathroom, where he threw the sweatpants on and attempted to straighten out his damp hair before he turned to go meet Jace again.

Andrew found Jace sitting on the edge of his bed, clearly waiting for Andrew to come back. When he looked up and met his eyes, he smiled an honest, pleased smile before his eyes flickered down, trailing across Andrew’s chest and then flickering away, like he didn’t want Andrew to catch him looking.

Clearly, having a level headed conversation was going to be difficult when Jace obviously had something else on his mind. So, Andrew knew he couldn’t put it off. Andrew moved towards the bed, opening his mouth to speak before Jace could turn and try to drag him into a kiss. “I wanted to talk to you about something,” he said evenly.

Instantly, Jace looked up, a frown coming across his face. “That doesn’t sound good,” he murmured.

Andrew chuckled. “No, it’s nothing bad. I was just…” Andrew trailed off for a moment, not even sure how he wanted to word what he was trying to say. He’d jumped into the conversation so suddenly that he didn't even know where to start. Part of him knew, more expected really, that the moment he asked Jace was going to insist this was nothing and that it meant nothing and Andrew would feel foolish for bringing it up at all.

“I was just wondering what this was to you, what you wanted this to be,” Andrew settled on finally. The silence that followed his question didn’t exactly make Andrew feel better. Andrew glanced up to Jace, staring at his blank expression for a few moments before Andrew finally spoke again. “Inviting me into your room every night doesn’t exactly scream ‘hooking up’ only.”

The moment Andrew said it, Jace’s eyes flickered away, half embarrassed and half ashamed. Maybe, he’d hoped Andrew wouldn’t point anything out and he’d just let whatever this was happen. Anything more than hooking up must seem scary to Jace, even if it was clear to Andrew that this certainly wasn’t just ‘hooking up’.

“Why,” Jace said finally, still not looking over. “What do you want this to be?”

Of course, it was just like Jace to turn the question back to him without answering but… if Jace had really wanted this to be nothing, he’d probably have said so, instead of avoiding the question entirely.

Andrew thought about it for a moment. He’d tried not to think too hard into it, in case Jace didn’t want them to be anything. He didn’t want to get his hopes up over a boy he wasn’t even dating but if Andrew was being honest with himself, he did like Jace. He liked spending time with him. He liked being in Jace’s presence, even if they weren’t doing anything more than watching stupid movies.

“I think I’d like to try something more, if you did too. I already come to your room nearly every night. You bring me coffee in the morning,” Andrew said, gently bumping his shoulder into Jace’s own. “We spend a lot of time together. We wouldn’t have to tell anyone but I would be okay... putting a title on it.”

Jace looked over slowly, taking in Andrew’s expression like he was trying to judge if he was being serious or not. “What, like ‘boyfriend’?” Jace asked eventually.

Andrew nodded and after a second, Jace pressed his lips together and then nodded in return. “Okay,” he said finally and all of a sudden, the conversation seemed as simple as that.

They both stared at each other for a few moments longer, almost daring each other to hesitate or say something more but when neither of them did, Andrew moved, finally settling more comfortably into the familiar touch of Jace’s bed. “Well, if my boyfriend could turn the light off, that would be wonderful. Not all of us got to sit around all day.”

Jace let out a soft laugh, any tension visibly draining from his body. He reached over and flicked the lamp off before he was crawling under the covers, where he hesitated. They’d cuddled a lot but Jace was always a little nervous to initiate it, like he expected Andrew was going to push him away.

Andrew reached out for him in the dark, finding Jace’s arm and tugging him a little closer. After a second, Jace scrambled until he was pressing into Andrew’s side, melting into the warmth and comfort of the dark.

“Good night, boyfriend,” Jace murmured, whispering the word with a tentative kind of excitement.

“Good night, boyfriend,” Andrew murmured in response before he closed his eyes and let himself succumb to sleep. Staying awake and whispering sweet words to Jace sounded lovely but he was exhausted from his mission earlier and they both had an early morning to come.

Thankfully, Andrew knew in the morning that his boyfriend would be there, meeting him in the ops room with coffee that Andrew didn’t have the heart to tell him he preferred with milk. Maybe tomorrow, he’d say something but for now, the sentiment was still sweet.

Andrew cuddled his boyfriend all night, too tired to feel the relief he would in the morning, when he woke up with a clear mind and realized what they’d talked about and decided on the night before. In reality, nothing much changed. Andrew still met Jace in the morning, they still went on missions together and crawled into bed together at night. They still watched stupid movies, trained together when they had time and slept curled into each other’s arms but even if nothing had changed, somehow, it still felt like everything had.

Andrew found himself wondering if maybe, this was something that could last longer than all of his short relationships from before but he knew that he was getting ahead of himself with that and he didn’t want to get his hopes up. Jace was his boyfriend and for now, it was as simple as that. Nothing else mattered, not even what the future might bring.

**Author's Note:**

> They're so fucking good together.


End file.
